June 2, 2012

Reflective moments—Running with the numbers.

Photo credit: BBluesman
It's been 2 months, 2 weeks and 2 days I started this blog as an experiment of personal exploration and discovery.  I've got to say that I have surprised myself.  Ever since I started, my mind have been and still is in overdrive brainstorming.  I have asked questions like: "How do I make this blog better?" "What do people want to read about?" "What do I want to write about?" "What should I write about?" "How do I make this more engaging?" "Should I focus on a niche of interests or should I be more broad spectrum?"

The truth is I want to talk about anything and everything, life is so dynamic and multifaceted that to me, I'd be limiting myself if I decide to focus on one aspect of life. "FunSillyThoughts of Msada" is a blog about life. Msada's thoughts are often fun and silly, she likes to rack peoples brains; She likes to say what's on her mind however unfiltered, a lot of times, they are silly and fun.
So there you have it, "FunSillyThoughts of Msada" is about Msada's life and the lives of others, food for thought. I'm still very much a work in progress, but it will get better.

I've decided to start blog series titled "Reflective Moments." In these I will share a food for thought inspired by true events and personal intuitive discoveries. In todays reflective moment, I'm inspired to ask the following question:

Social Skills: Is it a learned behavior?  Can people who had been shy or intimidated around others during their childhood eventually become a social butterfly as an adult?  Or would they need a crash course in socializing?  Could the reverse also be possible?

I know a girl from childhood who didn't really hang out with her peers.  You would often catch her sitting alone at her desk in school during recess or by herself in one of the cafeteria tables.  Actually the girl was lovely when you interacted with her.  I couldn't help but notice though that she often walked a lonely road - literally to and back from school.  The girl in question was smart, she always sat in front of the class, had the most questions for the teacher and often had the most answers for the class.  But at the end of the day, she would pack up her book bag and would be one of the first out the door when everyone in class where still hanging around making after school plans.  I don't really remember her ever making it to the school prom.

Today, I know a friend in her thirties who complains constantly about loneliness. She laments that she  can't find genuine friends, ones who are not just around for what they get out of her and then disappear - so called fair-weather friends. It seems like when in a bind there's no one to count on to be there to help, she's single and lives far away from family.  In a conversation one day we talked about how genuine friendships are more fiction than reality.  You watched shows where there's that next door neighbor that came popping into her friends home all the time, she gets so comfortable with her that she goes straight to the refrigerator and walks away with her gallon of milk or borrows her blender. Kinda reminds me of Maxine from "Living Single" or Kramer from "Sinefeld." There was often the nice neighbor down the street who wouldn't mind watching the kids for a few hours while the couple went out on a date. She said that getting people together outside work often proved impossible, everyone's always busy.  Most weekends she says, she's always home because there's nothing  to do, no one to hang out with.  As a single person, it's especially hard to not have a social life.

On the flip side, I know another person who have a different problem.  He's often shy and feels intimidated around people that he finds it hard to open up to them.  He often enjoyed the company of others but found it hard to really be amongst them without feeling intimidated.  For one, he's not one to strike on a conversation and when the other person doesn't do that as well, anxiety sets in because he's forced to have to say something.  As a result he's often counting his words and worrying about what he says to the other person, he worries that what he might say would not make sense as it wouldn't feel real.  The problem is not that he didn't converse with others, but that he still haven't learned how to begin a conversation with another person.  Growing up he said he was often in the company of others and felt invisible.  No one ever took him seriously, so as a result, he often shut down and kept to himself.  That is affecting him today.

All that had me thinking of the girl from my childhood.  In grade school you are taught social studies, in college some people study psychology.  Others might go as far as studying anthropology, all to learn more about how people interact with one another.  What makes a person a social butterfly, the life of the party, the one everyone wants to hang with and invite everywhere?  Is this skill learned?  Does it come naturally? Is it both?

Until next time...

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